talk about life. Yes, something as simple yet as deep as the term ‘life’. Not
the kind of conversations that feel superficial and shallow, but the kind which
will make you feel a little less lonely, heard and understood. Sudden changes
in the usual, unexpected losses and untimely deaths always bring along with
them a whole set of revelations and realizations.
are these sinking moments…moments of fear, uncertainty and self pity which
follows. Those dreadful moments, which suck you into the depths of some strange
dark corners that you possibly didn’t know existed. You possibly feel like
being swept off the ground by this quicksand effect, which totally shakes you
up, and you feel your world crumbling down all around you. Ever felt this
despair and helplessness of not knowing where, why, when and how?!
there are also these incredible moments of realizations about what actually
matters and what ought to matter in the long run. Those stubborn moments of
self-assurance and clarity we seek beyond the blurry horizons. Yes, that is the
kind of emotions we are talking about. The demons which we fight every day and
refuse to give in holding on to that one single thread of hope. That kind of
magnificent strength that makes you a living, breathing, real example accepting
and embracing life with all its surprises, jolts and reality checks every now
humans, we always long for that something in our lives to fill the emptiness in
our soul created by that aww so overwhelming unacknowledged loneliness. It
could be a person, a thing, or just something that we do, to keep ourselves moving
ahead despite of all the odds. I have learned that the little secret is to
accept the fact that sometimes its not about figuring it all out at once, but
to live through each day gracefully and repeat it every single day until you
find that stability. True that sometimes its no mountain we conquer but
ourselves. I have also started to believe that it is really important for us to
accept the fact that every one else has a life beyond their understanding of
our suffering and pain that we have to sometimes find solace, peace and answers
within ourselves.So tread lightly on those difficult roads and don't be too harsh on yourself. Yes, the world might try to break you down, but wear your truth like your shield... and tread lightly!
few days back, I lost a dear friend to cardiac arrest and quite a few people to reality! Losses no matter in what form, create a void that only can be
filled with hope, patience and a whole lot of love. There are these days when
you miss that feeling of being held. If you ask me, the safest I have always
felt is inside a hug. Hugs make you feel so safe, protected and taken care of.
Something as simple as a hug can breathe life into a person I have known when I
hugged my darling friend who eventually lost her fight to cancer.
are few songs that kept me company through my dark days and nights. Music
indeed holds the power within to heal all kinds of wounds and make you whole
again. This also has been the phase where the mother in me has been suffocated
beyond measure with the distance that has come in between the little piece of
my soul and myself. Music has always been that loyal companion with me
throughout this journey as my no judgment zone and rock of a constant. Music
helps when your soul has aching voids and scars on it because we rubbed
ourselves against certain experiences and people. It helped me find my light
yet again. I really do hope, it will help you too no matter what you
are enduring right now!
was indeed never a night so dark or a heartache so deep that could defeat the
miracle of another sunrise or a ray of hope! Here is borrowing Jidnya Pandya’s
soulful ‘One less lonely night’ to wrap up my thoughts. “ Just wait back a little longer! The night is almost over; come, lets
watch the sunrise together!”
don’t need anyone else to save you. You already have yourself for that” this is
indeed that one line which has always pushed me back to doing all what I once
thought was impossible. The fact is, we never realize the strings that tie us
down until our very roots are affected. Quite often, we are so used to the
ordinary, the usual, the routine and the expected, that we tend to find comfort
in them and we never dare to step out of that zone to explore the unknown, to
rediscover yourself and to truly unveil what you yourself are capable of.
a day back I woke up to this strange haunting dream, which kept me thinking. Just
when I have always thought finally I have learned to live, life has changed in
the instant. It has only been few days since I lost someone extremely dear to
the inevitable. Someone who was to stay for long….someone who was by all means
deserving to be around for a very long while.. but who could not make it. It is
only when we experience sudden losses and sudden changes in the ordinary, that
we actually tend to sit back… breathe and look into things that really matter. The
dream had me watch helplessly when people who were still alive and breathing
were getting buried. I was frantically trying to make the ones around
understand there is still life.. there is still hope.. all in vein. Waking up to that feeling of helplessness was
not really the best way to start a day with…but I could so get the reasons and
thought processes, which led me to having such a dream. In that space between
dream and reality, I did find myself all over again!
often we are all so preoccupied in this race, that race which we don’t even
know or realize whether we want to be a part of ; until one day we are left
with no time or no tomorrows. We are always pushed in different directions by
hundreds of conflicting impulses. I remember how when this year started my soul
sister and I made this promise to each other. To give ourselves the love... the
time… the space .. and the freedom that we truly deserve. That rare resolution
which we made to ourselves .. to spend at least an hour every week away from
everything and everyone.. just you and your thoughts… detached , has helped in
ways big and small to rearrange the misplaced pieces and put them back just the
way it should be .
is one movie whose message resonated so well with me. This morning again, I
happened to see the movie while randomly browsing channels and I decided to get
back to this space without keeping it for another day. That moment when we realize
that the ‘some day’ which we all keep talking about, is indeed ‘today’. ‘Tu koi
aur he’ soulfully depicts the chaos..the identity crisis.. the life of denial..
the masked reality.. each one of us can very well relate to.
like someone wise once jotted down ““Life is not lost by dying; life is lost
minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring
ways.” It is so true that we have to sometimes create and not just accept our
destiny. Do not just exist through each day, because all moments we just
fritter away are moments, which we will never get back. Whether those are
moments with ourselves or with the ones who truly matter! So let me ask you
this! What would you have done differently if you really appreciate the one
priceless gift life is and if you really see the imminence of the inevitable?! Go
for it today!
“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the
stars, and see yourself running with them. The longest journey indeed is the journey
PS : This post goes out to my positivity
fairy, my rock , my brutally honest reflection, my Vaavamani !
“One more time we are strangers, but this time with memories.” This
line that I came across of late got me thinking. It has been so long since I
have visited this space. Sometimes it so happens that silence takes over and
words no longer make sense to you. We all go through such phases of hibernation
when you are totally withdrawn into your confined space where no one has access!
It is really something to think about how we make people who used to
mean everything into a thing of times gone by. How we should learn to
unlearn. How we can force ourselves to forget and what can we put in their
place to fill up the void? The emotional journey your soul undergoes after
every farewell teaches you more about yourself than the relationship did..
makes you realise what someone or something meant to you and how much you would
want to go back to relive those memories with them around you, a piece of home
you have never known before they came along!
Life has always taught me that when our very existence revolves
around someone, it just does not stop even though what is left in their place
is only the thought of someone who existed, who just left and never looked
back! The person who knew your every day struggles …things which made you break down… and
what made you smile… the person who saw the world and the people in it through
your eyes and who knew how to bring you back to life and make you fall in love
with it all over again… that person is no longer there. Happened to read this
recently that one of the hardest things to do in life is to grieve the loss of
someone who is still alive. True that ‘'there are memories that time does not
erase... Forever does not make loss forgettable, only bearable!’'
Farewells of all kinds always carries within their souls so much
heartaches..! Family.. friends.. partners.. irrespective of who left… the void
remains and you never really stop knowing them in that way like how they once
were. We all find ourselves standing in those unknown fields so lost that we
cannot find our way back. Those memories that are revolving around the places
you went ..the things said unsaid..the songs you listened ..the dreams shared..
remain! True that “It is not really letting go off the past that is the
problem. It is coming into terms with letting go off a future that will never
Quite often you are left knowing a lot more about love and what it
can do, and the pain the void in your heart, or emptiness in the opposite chair
can bring to you. We never really get to know whether the void will be filled
by the person who made it.. or will someone else can match up to that and help
you heal?! I have always been of the belief that you
either love someone, in someway which is uniquely yours forever, or you never
really have loved.
These amazing tracks soulfully depict these emotions of different
kinds! ‘Laal Ishq’ from RamLeela, ‘Judaai’ from Badlapur and ‘Oh Rangrez’ from
Bhaag Milkha Bhaag are just amazingly awesome compositions that make you
experience a wide sea of emotions each time you listen to them. The sinking
into an unknown space act, which only music can do that to you!
We all start as strangers. It’s incredible how with time, we realise
that the storms within you calm down eventually, but we see the stars and the
skies and dreams differently now and we can’t really choose whose farewell does
that to us! Like Coelho says, “Because we managed to keep our heart open
despite the pain… because the person who left did not take the sun with them or
leave darkness in their place. They simply left!” Yes, we all start as
strangers, but with every farewell comes a hidden hope and we become strangers
of some sort again, but this time with memories!
“In your light I learn how
to love” Rumi