While you were sleeping...!

Title inspired from an article I happened to read in one of those weekend magazines in my desert city. Unlike the usual reads full of shallow materialism, this particular article spoke about Brianna, a nurse and Nate Lytle , a miracle survivor of a disastrous accident. How Brianna never guessed when she started her nursing shift that she would fall for a patient in coma…how she used to speak to Nate while he was unconscious and how she felt that one of a kind..strange connection with him… which happens only once in  a life time… when love gets eternal…

At a time when I was almost doubting the existence of anything ‘unconditional’ in this unforgiving world… God made me browse through the pages of that magazine..when yet again.. my beliefs about life..love..and the existence of that ‘someday’ when everything falls in place.. were rekindled. For that’s the way with life… the unique strange thing about it.. when we are almost on the verge of giving up.. life gives you something to hold on.. something to start living all over again. True that sometimes it’s better not to worry about not having someone by our side.. or to worry about not finding that unique kind of connect with anyone… instead… cherish each moment of being in love.. with life.. with all the good and bad it throws at you.. spend the rest of your life making memories.. happy..positive..serene ones...

Sometimes we all find love in the unlikeliest of circumstances.. when you start looking at life with a whole new perspective.. ‘Veyilaay oru naal’ from the Malayalam movie ‘Unnam’ is one such song which got to me when I had almost lost touch with my reflection…my blog. Didn’t want to wait till tomorrow to write about this track. Penned sacredly by Rafeeq Ahmed sir and given the soulful tune by Sri John P Varkey, ‘Veyilaay’ is a heavenly track which touched my soul…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOYmqPTPbf8

Though I could not appreciate or relate to the way the song has been used in the movie,  I just could not look through the soul of the fabulous melody which beautifully captures the most unconditional form of the divine emotion. Again another realization that.. quite often things are not exactly the same as they appear…shallow turns out to be deep and what appears to be the most intense thing..turns out to be nothing but chaff. It’s unfortunate that just like the song.. many of us look through he abundance we have in our lives… just not content..always looking for something else.. when some where during the course of search.. we lose ourselves… when we eventually realize what we have left behind is what we needed the most… what we crushed under our feet is what gave meaning to our existence…

While the song begins to play one more time in my phone… I close my eyes and wish that at some stage ..we all find that priceless unconditional love Nate got from Brianna…  as for my part, I wish to be that dew that melts away after watering your much dried soul.. when it rains ..wish to be that ray of light which would make you warm and  then fade away… wish to be that prayer which will keep you safe.. just to be that silent breathe that follows you where ever you go living your life. In a world I can be anything…I wish to be myself…! Yes, there is dew in my desert..

‘Who wants to live forever.. I would rather live my memories with you and breathe my last…If you are cold at night..let the promise of my love for you..cover you warm..’

PS: Thank you 'achayan' for the song Mp3. Priceless gift

Phir Le Aya Dil...!!!!1

Some songs are so divine.. so serene.. and so very special ..that they make you feel.. in fact believe that they were made just for you and people like you in this big wide world... Could not find a better title for this particular post.."Phir le aya dil" from the much talked about Oscar nominated movie 'Barfi' is one of a kind..I feel such songs happen once in ages... personally for me this is truly an amazing come back of the musician in Pritam. simple..soothing and soul stirring; that's the song for you.  

Some days in life are special... because of some rare once in a life time moments...just another day becomes one for the keeps.. unique and priceless. Today is one such day... !A day when life rekindled my belief in that priceless irreplaceable emotion called love... I don't want to remember dates.. but moments..and so agree to the one who said 'the richness of life lies in those memories we have forgotten'

Quite often it happens with many of us that.. our paths cross with those ones whom we once thought we lost forever... you feel broken and wounded..when you are beginning to feel that love has made an exit.. when we least expect it.. we get to experience the warmth of their presence yet again... you feel complete...you start believing in yourself yet again... though we know in the end we never will get to be together..but you are content just loving and being there... 

"Phir le aya dil" fabulously captures the divine emotion when you reconnect with the one you love ...after a painful hiatus.. so beautifully depicts that 'incompleteness in absence'. Love indeed makes you dream..takes you out of the actual and gives you wings..no matter how many times you have been shattered and wounded. It's the very simplicity of the track that makes the song priceless. Arijit Singh has done a more than fantabulous job.. his voice is heavenly .. a much much promising future of music is here finally!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VyE7LR7c2Y

True that sometimes memories are good enough for you to live .. some other times.. thoughts of how different life could have been..if things were otherwise... gives you the strength to persevere.."Memory indeed a way of holding on to the things you love..the things you are..the things you never want to lose.." you get used to the feel good pain love gives you.. and you chose to come to terms with it and live the days of your life just loving..holding on to your incomplete dreams..memories.. and desires. But love..time and again..creates the magical illusion of those moments when you feel am not alone...

"Let's not forget to love.. loving what you cannot forget and let go off.. creates a new way to remember. Let's change the memory of our past into the hope of our future"

PS: This post goes out to the  serene one for whom  I want to live the rest of my life  for ..just loving... you are God sent!

Welcome change!!!!!!

It always is amazing to see good music making a comeback… like never before. Am more than elated to have listened to the fantabulous tracks from the latest Malayalam movie ‘Bachelor party’. This album is so close to heart for a zillion reasons. Not always do we sit back..take some time out to look for some good songs..just to see what is happening in the world around. Am so glad I gave that time for myself.. and for the music that is buried deep inside me. What a miss it would have been if I missed listening to ‘ Kaarmukilin’ and ‘Vijana Surabhi’ from the album. Simply spectacular and brilliant compositions. Can call this album the ‘true’ come back of the immensely talented musician friend… my adopted brother..Rahul Raj!!!! Another reason to look upto the musician in him….

The magic that was created by him with the movie ‘Ritu’ has been recreated and in a much more soul catching way through these simply brilliant compositions. Songs that would make you fall in love with music all over again… ‘Kaarmukilin’ is a fabulous romantic melody and Shreya Ghosal’s mesmerizing voice has done the magic again in Malayalam music. She is the real ‘mishti dohi’ and totally will make you love all her songs just by the way she renders it with all her passion… honesty and her simply out of this world voice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3VsuO9LXjc

‘Vijana Surabhi’ is haunting..its addictive. One track that always has you mystified and makes you lose your way in the unknown depths of the song’s soul. Remya Nambeesan’s voice suits the song so well and the classical bits in between just add life to the track. Totally like icing on the cake. Its undoubtedly a treat for a music lover’s ears and you would wish the song never ended.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dqsUP-8vd4

Of the two tracks I have developed this bias towards  ‘Kaarmukilin’ simply because of the tune and the lyrics.. and the  very feel good factor about it… its totally a whiff of fresh breeze that will breathe life into you..I totally believe we all need these kinds of welcome changes once in a while in life. Those changes which will make the monotony of a quiet life fade away! In the end over and over again life teaches me..music is all that there is… and music is something that will never let you down.. through all the seasons of life. Good music is back… and it is back here to stay!

True that music quite often takes us out of the actual and makes us create our own dreams…like Aldous Huxley even I believe that “After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music”Music soothes the mind and heals the heart.. it truly flows from heaven to the soul of the listener…

“Music was my refuge..I could crawl into the spaces between the notes and turn my back into loneliness...”

Magical illusion!!!!!

Dubai is by all means a city of dreams… this desert city has a unique thing about it..which will keep u hooked on to it…. Which will make you come back there….Still remember the day I landed here first… first glimpse outside the window… brought back all the memories  of those fairy tales I have heard while growing up… so much like a perfect painting… so full of life… !the city which made me fall in love… love of a serene kind I have never experienced before….love that heals…love that taught me to let go.. pure serene love!

Happened to watch this brilliant Malayalam movie ‘Diamond Necklace’ shot in Dubai totally by chance. But after the movie… I felt I should take such chances more often … like how Dr Arun (the protagonist) says… live life in such a way that you have no regrets  about your past… no anxieties about your future… just live the moment you are in… totally worth a try… :)

Infact it’s the song ‘Nila Malare’ which dragged me into the theatre. A magical track given life by Vidyasagar n penned beautifully by Rafeeq Ahamed sir… which is brilliantly rendered by the amazingly talented Nivas…an amazing discovery from a talent hunt. The song gets to you slowly…but yes gets deep down there and touches your soul.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_h0BTccg6Z8

Love indeed is the magical illusion of not being alone. The movie has fabulously captured love through various perspectives… love perceived by three women…and how eventually all things merge into one… of pure… unconditional… bliss! It’s true that quite often we can’t recover few things in life no matter how hard you try… the ‘moment’ after its gone… the ‘word’ after its spoken.. and ‘time’ after its wasted. If you keep waiting for the perfect moment to love..live.. and let go..chances are that you might not do much of anything. ‘Now’ is the time.. remember the things you always wanted to do… now is the time to go do all of those…right now!

Of all the three leading ladies in the movie.. I have developed this bias towards ‘Maya’ the character played stunningly by Samvruta Sunil. Not only because she fights back the life threatening disease she has..but just the mere grace with which she does it… how she loves every single moment of her life… how she realizes that life aint too long for her..but still manages to stay positive and bounce back from all pit falls…falls in love.. and manages to let go without any regrets..how she teaches you the lesson “you cannot be lonely if you love the person you are alone with”

‘Nila Malare’ is positive.. haunting.. adorable and catchy a track…it tells you there is always and always that new ray of hope..it makes you dream…fall in love… start living all over again… makes you content … sometimes cling on to the memories and breathe life.. true that “in the end what really matters is not what we bought but what we built..not what we got but what we shared..not our competence but our character..live a life that matters..live a life of love..”for life happens only once… just once!life is really too short to wake up every day with regrets…so if you get a chance..grab it… if it changes your life…let it!

“We are always leaving lil pieces of us as we move along the pathways of life..and even as we age, evolve, wear out and disappear into the dust..the pieces indeed sometimes remain”

Back alone...!!!

There comes a point in life when you are back alone to that place in life where it all started… though it might just leave you drained out and deserted..much worse than how it was before.... for that is the way with life… we all tend to live within our limitations… till one day… life shows you a beautiful dream…of how meaningful life could have been…how complete and precious…and worth living… you refuse to wake up from that dream… even when its dawn and the dream has left you… you yearn for a little more of time..to cling on to that beautiful serene dream which gives meaning to your existence and breathe life…

Many of us love to live a life of denial… a fabulous belief that no one has left… everything is just like before… that life of your dreams… of unconditional love ..is just within your reach… dream on till we get done with our time here… a priceless irreplaceable feeling…

Sreenivas sir has been my most favourite singer… something I feel in his voice no one else has.. this mesmerizing ghazal by the legend Mehdi Hassan stunningly rendered by Sreeni sir is sure to touch your soul….’Renjish hi sahi’ from the album ‘Timeless classics’ is one songs for the keeps… one song..each one of us will relate to at some stage of life… the so real..close to life lyrics..depicts love of the most unconditional kind…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3F7puIHl0k

The word unconditional has been my personal favourite ever since I have known love…for that’s how sometimes we all are… we just love..expecting nothing in return.. nothing at all..when the love we have for the other person becomes enough for both ..when you feel its been long since you have been deprived of the pain of longing… when you wish the other one came back to you..if only to make you shed tears..and experience the feel good pain of being in love… a person without love is like a barren desert… … The song coveys that emotion where you yearn to let the tears come in to your life..so that they can water your earlier deserted soul…

Love of that kind.. when you long to have the one you love come back…if only to shut those last few candles of hope… if not for the beautiful bond u shared, atleast for the sake of the love you still carry in your soul… even if that person is upset with you.. come back once for that dream you are still clinging on to… it does not happen often that someone decides to continue loving despite of that incompleteness in absence… for it is so true that… when someone walks out ..the only way to have them live on is to never stop loving them…

Love is sometimes not showing to the world that you are in love..love is sometimes just being a silent presence in the other person’s life… just be like a shadow… who is with them through out their journey..but can never be together… blessed are the ones who get to experience unconditional love… for its then you learn to believe.. believe in belief itself.. that no matter what..this is it for you …for the rest of the years to come… coz not every thing is happily ever after… you just love… and let your love be…

“Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, and for once; just once, come back though to leave again...”

PS: This post goes out for my serene dream…. I refuse to wake up for life… I owe my life to you…

Being a mother....!!!!

2011 indeed was one memorable year.. unique in a million ways…a year when I was welcomed into the world of motherhood… a year that saw many people walking in and out of life… a year of some realizations.. some good..some bad…some bitter… a year when I actually saw my soul icon of music ARR… a year which changed the impulsive scorpion in me to a subtle accommodating soul… zillion thanks the wonderful days and hours spent in my make believe world…thanks to my shooting star who fell in to my life as a blessing…you are indeed God sent!

As days pass by we all have this realisation of who is with us and who is not.. who means what they say and who doesn’t … but when you are a mother you never cant have the word ‘hate’ in your world…Like they say… “I have found the paradox…when you love until it hurts..there can’t be more hurt..but only more love…”It is true that once you become a mother ..your judgement slowly turns into compassion and understanding…it relaxes you and you eventually learn to deal with crisis situations that might come along the course of life…Osho once said “The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new..”cant be more true.

When I first watched this amazing movie from 80’s my understanding of the central character played brilliantly by this amazing actor was not so deep… but now.. as years have passed by and when life has given me a part of my soul in the shape of my lil one… I know I understand her a lot better… I can relate and empathize with what she feels… and what she yearns for in life… this fabulous Malayalam movie from the golden era..”Onnu muthal poojyam vare” was just amazingly brilliant not just because of its unbelievale script and screenpaly..but also because of this evergreen lullaby rendered mesmerisingly by K S Chithra and G Venugopal… am so glad Chithra chechi is back… back to the world of music after a hiatus… missed her terribly and it feels fabulous to see her fight back to the hard knocks of life…“Raari raareeram” indeed played a pivotal rold in establishing Mohan Sithara’s career as a musician and it did take him to those unknown heights of glory where everyone just admired the talent in him…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNgl7aakwQU

Sometimes being alone gets you to a point where you are no fun anymore… when you keep trying too hard to be all that your child wants you to be… It is true that at times we truly realise we are all so alone.. its just that the love we carry in our soul creates an illusion of not being alone for few moments..when you start yearning for that gentle breeze to touch your soul..that belongs only to you.. when you start looking for your safest corner in this otherwise insensitive world…it's often just enough to be with someone. You don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone anymore… this song and movie has so well captured these emotions where the absence of someone in life keeps coming back to your thoughts no matter how much hard you try… “Loneliness indeed is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate”…Germain Greer is right…

Sometimes starting over becomes far more difficult than starting from scratch…a happy ending not always means ending up with the one you love..may be its just you..you on your own…picking up those bits and pieces..and starting over once again…. As another year fades away… I just wish that everyone out there get what they genuinely wish for..and what they truly deserve… let your serene divine love create that magical illusion of not being alone in your lives for now and for all the years to come….

“'You'll get over it...' It's the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not erased by anyone but death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit. Why would I want them to?”

Desert rain...!!!!!

Winter in this desert city is definitely having its effect on me… right now …looking outside my window pane , watching the dark clouds ready to pour out those life giving drops of rain any second… got reminded of this unbelievable composition by ARR, rendered brilliantly by Sadhana Sargam… ‘Naina neer bahaye’ … from the well acclaimed movie.. ‘Water’ . Can relate completely to Tagore’s mood when he penned “Clouds come floating into my life…no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add colour to my sunset sky…”

Love! That beautiful magnificient emotion that we can try to define time and again… and every time come up with a whole new perspective…the sense of belonging…the undenyable sense of longing that comes along with it….there is never a state like..I have enough of love in my life…we always long for a little more of it…perhaps the only thing in this world everyone would be greedy of…I feel we all learn to love not when you find out what makes the other person laugh.. but when you find out what makes the one you love shed a tear…

The sight of rain… always makes me experience a whole lot of emotions.. helps me cleanse out a lot of stain and scars that I carry along most often…when mind and soul undergoes ‘C’atharsis…emotional cleansing like they say… love is one such divine emotion that oozes out life into the earlier drained out lifeless soul…that one emotion which has you and me mystified forever…

This track amazingly captures the intensity of pain that love quite often brings along..Like the poet who said “Let your tears come..let them water your soul…”Life throws in a lot of surprises .. it is when you feel that now on..am going to be in a particular way that a sudden change of season happens..making you fall in and out of love every now and then..when you cling on to that one ray of hope and breathe life..Many a time it happens that your tears fall endlessly for a person who never really was yours.. when you miss someone whom you were never really with..still you love..hopelessly..unconditionally…with all your heart..and let your silence do all the talking…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwU0PuFIUP8

‘Naina neer bahaye’ is one haunting melody which will make you experience the pain of seperation.. this mighty impressive track will make you yearn for that bit more of love.. make you long for someone… and live on..

“When love beckons to you, follow him,Though his ways are hard and steep…And when his wings enfold you yield to him..Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you…And when he speaks to you believe in him.. To know the pain of too much tenderness…To be wounded by your own understanding of love;And to bleed willingly and joyfully…To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving”

PS : This post goes out for the one who poured that divine love into my life…