Being a mother....!!!!

2011 indeed was one memorable year.. unique in a million ways…a year when I was welcomed into the world of motherhood… a year that saw many people walking in and out of life… a year of some realizations.. some good..some bad…some bitter… a year when I actually saw my soul icon of music ARR… a year which changed the impulsive scorpion in me to a subtle accommodating soul… zillion thanks the wonderful days and hours spent in my make believe world…thanks to my shooting star who fell in to my life as a blessing…you are indeed God sent!

As days pass by we all have this realisation of who is with us and who is not.. who means what they say and who doesn’t … but when you are a mother you never cant have the word ‘hate’ in your world…Like they say… “I have found the paradox…when you love until it hurts..there can’t be more hurt..but only more love…”It is true that once you become a mother ..your judgement slowly turns into compassion and understanding…it relaxes you and you eventually learn to deal with crisis situations that might come along the course of life…Osho once said “The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new..”cant be more true.

When I first watched this amazing movie from 80’s my understanding of the central character played brilliantly by this amazing actor was not so deep… but now.. as years have passed by and when life has given me a part of my soul in the shape of my lil one… I know I understand her a lot better… I can relate and empathize with what she feels… and what she yearns for in life… this fabulous Malayalam movie from the golden era..”Onnu muthal poojyam vare” was just amazingly brilliant not just because of its unbelievale script and screenpaly..but also because of this evergreen lullaby rendered mesmerisingly by K S Chithra and G Venugopal… am so glad Chithra chechi is back… back to the world of music after a hiatus… missed her terribly and it feels fabulous to see her fight back to the hard knocks of life…“Raari raareeram” indeed played a pivotal rold in establishing Mohan Sithara’s career as a musician and it did take him to those unknown heights of glory where everyone just admired the talent in him…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNgl7aakwQU

Sometimes being alone gets you to a point where you are no fun anymore… when you keep trying too hard to be all that your child wants you to be… It is true that at times we truly realise we are all so alone.. its just that the love we carry in our soul creates an illusion of not being alone for few moments..when you start yearning for that gentle breeze to touch your soul..that belongs only to you.. when you start looking for your safest corner in this otherwise insensitive world…it's often just enough to be with someone. You don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone anymore… this song and movie has so well captured these emotions where the absence of someone in life keeps coming back to your thoughts no matter how much hard you try… “Loneliness indeed is never more cruel than when it is felt in close propinquity with someone who has ceased to communicate”…Germain Greer is right…

Sometimes starting over becomes far more difficult than starting from scratch…a happy ending not always means ending up with the one you love..may be its just you..you on your own…picking up those bits and pieces..and starting over once again…. As another year fades away… I just wish that everyone out there get what they genuinely wish for..and what they truly deserve… let your serene divine love create that magical illusion of not being alone in your lives for now and for all the years to come….

“'You'll get over it...' It's the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don't get over it because 'it' is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not erased by anyone but death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit. Why would I want them to?”