Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Dying to be me….!!!!!

Title of the post owes its origin to the much acclaimed book by Anita Moorjani, one amazingly spectacular soul who has inspired me beyond words in the recent times... Her awe inspiring autobiographical book is by all means a source of self-enrichment, which will make you look at life in a whole new light!       
          

A year back… in the month of July…. I lost my grand dad to Alzheimer’s and old age. His passing away…left a void in our lives…a wound that is so deep and sore which time I feel has failed to heal. “You will get over it”- true that it’s always the clichés that cause the trouble.  For I believe the truth is, we never get over the ones we love. The void always remains for it is in the shape of the person you love; you would never want anyone else to fit into that space. When we lose someone, for whatever reasons; in the end reasons simply don’t count. Reasons and results- we end up living with the results.


Even before, in this space, I have spoken about losing people… to the inevitable…losing them to reality.. losing ourselves in the process of trying to keep others as a whole! But one amazing thing life has taught me is that we don’t really lose the ones we love. They live in us and we carry a part of them with us for the rest of our lives. Remember receiving this wonderful message from my soul sister whom I absolutely adore which read “One day, whether you are 14,28 or 65, you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find is that, they are not always with whom we spend our lives.” Can’t be truer!


And yes if you ask me.. yes, I do believe in destiny. Not just the kind we stumble upon in the monotony of a quiet life… but that destiny we sometimes have to create for ourselves. And I also believe that sometimes its good ‘not to let go’ because once destiny guides you to the one you need, its up to you to hold on amidst all odds. True that sometimes the wrong decisions or choices we make bring us to the right places and right people. Life, for me, is the most magnificent experience with regard to taking you totally by surprise every now and then.


It shows you happiness… freedom…love…laughter and all the wonderful emotions and before you know it, in the blink of an eye, takes it all away, leaves you devoid of them making you value and cherish all the goodness and positivity whenever you get your hands on it through your journey. It has always amazed me to know how each one of us finds that one person amongst a billion others, that one person who touches your soul and changes your life forever.


That one person who would make you feel stronger and weaker at the same time….both excited and terrified.. it just seems like you have reached the unreachable and you are ready for it. Once your life is touched by them….you completely forget how you spent all the years before they came along. For it is in their love,  you know from the very first day that the end of it is coming, still you want to hold on for a little longer so that it can hurt a little more.  It is a whole new world.. a whole new you.. and a whole new purpose of being!


Its for the second time am mentioning the same song in ‘serenity’ for a new post…could not find a more apt track for all the emotions making me hostile while am drafting it… ‘Aaj jaane ki zid na karo’ is an amazingly soulful melody which will give voice to the words that never got a chance to be spoken… that love which never was given a chance to grow.. but chose to stay.. even when people walked away…






This also is the longest post I ever scribbled… cherishing all the the ‘first ever’ moments life abundantly blessed me with in the recent times.  When you have your moment of ‘serendipity’…. that moment when you accidentally stumble up on something or someone truly amazing… hold them close….tell them you love them….never let go…even if its few moments….days or weeks you have with them…. live it in its essence….give it all you have got....because at least in the end you will be happy you tried and you gave it your best….for this very moment is all we have got… live it to the fullest….never regret!



“Because maybe, in a way, we didn't leave it behind nearly as much as we might once have thought. Because somewhere underneath, a part of us stayed like that: fearful of the world around us, and no matter how much we despised ourselves for it--unable quite to let each other go.”



PS: This post goes out for my sunshine for rekindling my belief in love and all the better things, for reminding me of who I was, before the world told me who I should be! You are happiness every square inch and you are living in me!





Sunday, October 5, 2014

…Of self discovery.. self realization and some…!!!!!


“At the bottom of her heart, however, she was waiting for something to happen. Like shipwrecked sailors, she turned despairing eyes upon the solitude of her life, seeking afar off some white sail in the mists of the horizon. She did not know what this chance would be, what wind would bring it her, towards what shore it would drive her, if it would be a shallop or a three-decker, laden with anguish or full of bliss to the portholes. But each morning, as she awoke, she hoped it would come that day; she listened to every sound, sprang up with a start, wondered that it did not come; then at sunset, always more saddened, she longed for the morrow.”
― Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary

It has been a long phase of hibernation … a long break from giving words to thoughts.. a real long break where I kept myself away from something that always made me feel liberated..made me experience freedom.. and all such beautiful emotions.. somewhere in the monotony of a quiet life…I left a part of my soul behind..until today when I realized… I need to be… I need to get back.. not because I always created some magic through my scribbling here… not because it changed anything or anyone… but just because of the fact that… this space was always there… unchanged.. and that was indeed something!

All this while.. there was this emptiness.. this void.. that filled up mind .. and as hours slipped by and as I was spending more time with myself than ever before.. came this phase of self discovery and understanding of who I was.. have been… and who I want to be. The beginning para which is an extract from Gustave Flaubert’s much appreciated book ‘Madame Bovary’ kind of shook me up and awakened my soul. And yes here I am.. back to what I love doing the most…

There have been a handful of songs that have been on mind ever since I visited this space last.. there were umpteen drafts that were written and never saw light.. but this one song from the Malayalam movie ‘Kalimannu’ is that one track on mind right now.. one song that beautifully depicts the self discovery phase of a woman’s life. I have enjoyed every bit of the movie.. and the kind of strength and conviction a woman had to bear the child of her husband who was never to return to life..moved me beyond words.  How she found that one ray of hope amidst the ashes and how when no new sun rose in the horizon she brought her own sunshine …

To be the woman you are.. all what you have been.. and to be able to accept it as a whole.. never be ashamed of her desires..her dreams and her weaknesses..and her magical illusions.. to love life beyond and after ..and experience the fullness and meaning of womanhood.. the most beautiful part of being a woman.. bringing a life to this world.. that’s what ‘Meera’ taught me .. ‘ Kalimannu’ indeed is a celebration of motherhood … a bliss greater than any happiness.

‘ Salabham aayi’ is much more than a song.. it is indeed the journey of a woman’s life summed up in a soulful and amazing way. O N V Kurup Sir’s magic is visible in each word and this song is one track which created a lot of respect in me for the music composer that is Sri M. Jayachandran. Shreya is by all means God’s chosen one. Music is there in her very existence.


It happens so often in life we reach this phase of self discovery..of self realization and understanding of our purpose much more than ever before. When we muster the courage to stand up for what we feel is right.. and when we learn to lean upon self! I have always felt that love is the strongest of all emotions and the weakest of all too at times. We indeed lose ourselves in the things we love.. but we find ourselves there too. It can’t be more true. Even when the coldness of the night begins to engulf your soul and even when the flames have died down..  love has this thing in its soul, this fiery glow that leads us to unfamiliar lands.. of new dreams and of an unfamiliar existence.. scary and desirable at the same time..and not the smothering routine of an ordinary existence. The song unbelievably captures the very soul of the movie and conveys the purest form of passion and companionship.. and  manages to uplift my soul each time I listen to this..

I wish this strength for all the amazing souls who have changed life through ways big and small.. who have always believed and stood by .. who never listened to judge.. never listened to reply.. but to understand! No matter how hard the wind blows at times.. a clear day’s warmth will always bring you back to life! True that if one always looked at the skies, one would end up having wings. Flaubert, I have never been more convinced than this.


'' When she transformed into a butterfly, the caterpillars spoke not of her beauty, but of her weirdness. they wanted her to change back into what she had always been. But she had wings!''

PS: This post goes out for the ones who convinced me that I still have words left in me.. to share with the world. You all are magic in my life!



Sunday, April 28, 2013

While you were sleeping...!

Title inspired from an article I happened to read in one of those weekend magazines in my desert city. Unlike the usual reads full of shallow materialism, this particular article spoke about Brianna, a nurse and Nate Lytle , a miracle survivor of a disastrous accident. How Brianna never guessed when she started her nursing shift that she would fall for a patient in coma…how she used to speak to Nate while he was unconscious and how she felt that one of a kind..strange connection with him… which happens only once in  a life time… when love gets eternal…

At a time when I was almost doubting the existence of anything ‘unconditional’ in this unforgiving world… God made me browse through the pages of that magazine..when yet again.. my beliefs about life..love..and the existence of that ‘someday’ when everything falls in place.. were rekindled. For that’s the way with life… the unique strange thing about it.. when we are almost on the verge of giving up.. life gives you something to hold on.. something to start living all over again. True that sometimes it’s better not to worry about not having someone by our side.. or to worry about not finding that unique kind of connect with anyone… instead… cherish each moment of being in love.. with life.. with all the good and bad it throws at you.. spend the rest of your life making memories.. happy..positive..serene ones...

Sometimes we all find love in the unlikeliest of circumstances.. when you start looking at life with a whole new perspective.. ‘Veyilaay oru naal’ from the Malayalam movie ‘Unnam’ is one such song which got to me when I had almost lost touch with my reflection…my blog. Didn’t want to wait till tomorrow to write about this track. Penned sacredly by Rafeeq Ahmed sir and given the soulful tune by Sri John P Varkey, ‘Veyilaay’ is a heavenly track which touched my soul…


Though I could not appreciate or relate to the way the song has been used in the movie,  I just could not look through the soul of the fabulous melody which beautifully captures the most unconditional form of the divine emotion. Again another realization that.. quite often things are not exactly the same as they appear…shallow turns out to be deep and what appears to be the most intense thing..turns out to be nothing but chaff. It’s unfortunate that just like the song.. many of us look through he abundance we have in our lives… just not content..always looking for something else.. when some where during the course of search.. we lose ourselves… when we eventually realize what we have left behind is what we needed the most… what we crushed under our feet is what gave meaning to our existence…

While the song begins to play one more time in my phone… I close my eyes and wish that at some stage ..we all find that priceless unconditional love Nate got from Brianna…  as for my part, I wish to be that dew that melts away after watering your much dried soul.. when it rains ..wish to be that ray of light which would make you warm and  then fade away… wish to be that prayer which will keep you safe.. just to be that silent breathe that follows you where ever you go living your life. In a world I can be anything…I wish to be myself…! Yes, there is dew in my desert..

‘Who wants to live forever.. I would rather live my memories with you and breathe my last…If you are cold at night..let the promise of my love for you..cover you warm..’

PS: Thank you 'achayan' for the song Mp3. Priceless gift

Friday, September 28, 2012

Phir Le Aya Dil...!!!!1

Some songs are so divine.. so serene.. and so very special ..that they make you feel.. in fact believe that they were made just for you and people like you in this big wide world... Could not find a better title for this particular post.."Phir le aya dil" from the much talked about Oscar nominated movie 'Barfi' is one of a kind..I feel such songs happen once in ages... personally for me this is truly an amazing come back of the musician in Pritam. simple..soothing and soul stirring; that's the song for you.  

Some days in life are special... because of some rare once in a life time moments...just another day becomes one for the keeps.. unique and priceless. Today is one such day... !A day when life rekindled my belief in that priceless irreplaceable emotion called love... I don't want to remember dates.. but moments..and so agree to the one who said 'the richness of life lies in those memories we have forgotten'

Quite often it happens with many of us that.. our paths cross with those ones whom we once thought we lost forever... you feel broken and wounded..when you are beginning to feel that love has made an exit.. when we least expect it.. we get to experience the warmth of their presence yet again... you feel complete...you start believing in yourself yet again... though we know in the end we never will get to be together..but you are content just loving and being there... 

"Phir le aya dil" fabulously captures the divine emotion when you reconnect with the one you love ...after a painful hiatus.. so beautifully depicts that 'incompleteness in absence'. Love indeed makes you dream..takes you out of the actual and gives you wings..no matter how many times you have been shattered and wounded. It's the very simplicity of the track that makes the song priceless. Arijit Singh has done a more than fantabulous job.. his voice is heavenly .. a much much promising future of music is here finally!


True that sometimes memories are good enough for you to live .. some other times.. thoughts of how different life could have been..if things were otherwise... gives you the strength to persevere.."Memory indeed a way of holding on to the things you love..the things you are..the things you never want to lose.." you get used to the feel good pain love gives you.. and you chose to come to terms with it and live the days of your life just loving..holding on to your incomplete dreams..memories.. and desires. But love..time and again..creates the magical illusion of those moments when you feel am not alone...

"Let's not forget to love.. loving what you cannot forget and let go off.. creates a new way to remember. Let's change the memory of our past into the hope of our future"

PS: This post goes out to the  serene one for whom  I want to live the rest of my life  for ..just loving... you are God sent!



Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Life....a different take!!!!


Happened to watch this amazing movie ' Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara' and had quite a few moments of realisation as the movie was progressing. It was one such experience where you experience change as the situations in the movie change...Had to write about it... just could not stop myself from this post...like how one character in the movie says.. 'I hate regrets' too :)

I have often felt that life as it is the most taken for granted thing in this world... we always tend to take this beautiful irreplaceable gift that we have totally for granted..trying to chase a lot of things that are actually just not worth it...life indeed is what happens to you when you are trying to figure out ways of pulling through it..

Totally fell in love with this track..the very first time I heard it... its sad that I did miss out on a lot of songs like this in the break that I had in life.. a while ago... but again..like the good old saying goes... better late than never... :) 'Der lagi lekin' is a soothing melody which will hit your senses hard and make you experience a wide range of emotions as you listen to it..Shankar Mahadevan has made use of his magical voice to its best... this one song will definitely make you pause for a while and think ...about life as such..


There comes a point in life when you learn to go with the flow...without getting lost... without falling down... when you start viewing things through a totally new perspective..it happens with you..it happens with me...when you know what 'living' actually means... when you stop complaining about those things which you don't have.. when you stop shedding tears that will never give you any answers...when you realise why some things are the way they are...when you know where you are going wrong...when you just embrace life just the way it is.. and accept everything in it gracefully... both the chaff and grain...life in its totality...

Its so true that many of us keep recycling our past and refuse to move on..we all need that one push to get going... to stop worrying about what is going to happen tomorrow and instead..take some time out to live our 'today' to its fullest potential..let's not rush through those moments to which we need to pay a lot of attention to..coz like they say..'in just two days..the tomorrow you are worried about..will be your yesterday'.. so..its time to let go... and make each day count...because we deserve a lot better :) some sadness..some sunshine..its all part of the game..treat every second like a new season..and let life go on with its tides...

"Dilon me tum apni betaabiyaan leke chal rahe ho..to zinda ho tum..
Nazar me khwabon ki bijliyaan leke chal rahe ho..to zinda ho tum..

Hawa ke jhokon ke jaise aazaad rehna seekho..
Tum ek dariya ke jaise lehron me behna seekho..
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahen..
Har ek pal ek naya sama dekhe ye nigahen..

Jo apne aankhon me hairaniyaan leke chal rahe ho..to zinda ho tum..
Dilon me tum apni betaabiyaan leke chal rahe ho..to zinda ho tum.. "

"It is my life..it is my one time to be me...I want to experience every single thing in it..give it all I have got...love it with a passion.. because life truly does give back..many times over... what you put into it..."






Saturday, March 13, 2010

Till we meet again...!!!!!

I have always felt that love is something which you can never define… love of all kinds… the whole sea of emotions that it brings along with it… is way beyond our understanding most of the time…specially the shadow of loneliness that it carries within…the kind of loneliness seperation brings into our lives…one amazing song that depicts this feel good pain of the most beautiful kind is ‘ Abhi na jao chod kar’’ , a brillaintly amazing track from the Dev Anand starrer movie which released in 1961….The song has been around for a long time… but the intensity of the kind of pain it depicts become clearer each time you listen to it… a must listen… one song you will wish never ended…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTum7gcQeoI

It goes through a lot of highs and lows and the very catchy composition adds to the mesmerizing listening experience.The soulful tone is very catchy and it leaves a mark in your mind for ages… Rafi Saab is one amazing singer.. who has been amazing me ever since I heard him first… one fab singer who gave us a whole lot of songs to cherish and admire… Happened to hear this version from a talented singer and loved it to the core…‘Abhi na jao chod kar’ captures the winter of love in a heart warming way… It is true that seperation for love is like wind for fire… it lights up the flames if the fire is intense… and just sweeps away the shallow sparks…

Sometimes in life everything seems like nothing…we always yearn for a little more time… some more attention.. a bit more of love… what ever we get seems just not enough…but that’s the way of love…where reason just can’t take a lead …where your emotions take the better of you and you just let yourself get lost in that sea of emotions…It usally happens in relationships… of all kinds…we always look for something more… that desire is always there unsettled..but if we look at it ina different perspective that is the very beauty of the beautiful emotion called love…

Time is never long when in love… there is always a touch of yearning…which is like a gentle breeze that revitalises your soul..but I feel that yearning should never lead to discontent.. you are warm enough but still you tend to freeze.. you are fed enough but still you let hunger haunt you…we should all be able to strike a fair balance and experience the blissful emotion…by not letting our yearning wander into new unknown fields where you get lost and deserted…Totally agree to the person who said.. “Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists... When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence….”

Incompleteness in absence is so beautifully captured in the song which will stay as a favourite for the years to come…

“ I have found the paradox..that if you love until it hurts…there can be no more hurt..but only more love…”