The truth about forever!!!!!

I have always pondered about the intensity and the reality of the word ‘forever’. Each

time…with each person.. in all kinds of relationships.. the meaning of forever kept changing. Remember reading these lines in the book ‘The truth about forever” and I owe the title of this post to that book and that author who penned something so beautifully. “ Forever was so many different things. It was always changing. It was what everything was really about. It was twenty minutes or one hundred years or just this instant or any instant I wished would last and last.”

If you ask me, it’s all in the way we perceive things. Our forever might end in an hour.. in a day .. in a month or few years from now and its not just about happily ever afters. The fact is we don’t know for sure, so make every second count. Forever by all means for me is what is happening right now!

This post has been long over due. Sometimes it’s like that. You run of words. You get drained out of everything you once believed u had. It’s in between all the chaos that I happened to watch this amazingly thought provoking movie ‘Thamasha’ and it totally changed the very way I look at certain things.

Quite often it so happens that we exist being someone we are not from within. Just for the sake of the world and the people in it. I remember reading this somewhere- “ the statement ‘what will other people think?’ has killed more dreams than anything else in this world.” Can’t be truer! I have always felt the best days in life are those where you cannot remember the date space or time but the ones where you can experience what you felt when it happened. That feeling of happiness, contentment you hadn’t felt in a while. And above all the love...pure…. unconditional love! You remember feeling all this love. This all-consuming adoration you had once.

We all go back to such spaces a lot, going back in space and time. We see moments, flashing and fleeting, and faces of people we have once loved, now love and will always love. The movie reminded me of the best 48 days I have had till date. . 48 days of sunshine! 48 days which changed my very existence. 48 days of feeling alive. 48 blissful days of 'forever'! There are no photos, videos or digitized tokens from those days.  You can’t really go back to it with a simple glance of a photo or link to a video, which you wish you were a part of. They are priceless memories that weren’t published or clicked on. Recently I read this article, which talked about people missing out on living each moment because they are so busy documenting it. ‘That 500 million times people stopped having an experience to document one. That 500 million times throughout the day that we took ourselves out of the moment and refused to live in it.  Those 500 million pictures of experiences we’re not really having. That’s why those moments we’re not recalling through a photograph or scrolling past on Facebook are the ones we remember the best.’ Can’t agree more!

True that the best memories we hold are the ones that will stay with us for the rest of our lives and relieve us in our darkest moments are not ones we can recall through a photograph or relive through a video. Sometimes it so happens that some people you encounter even for a brief while influence you so much and change your life for good. They make you realize and remember who you truly were before this world told you who you should be!

These two songs from the movie made such a deep impact on me which cant be pit in words. ‘Agar Tum Saath Ho’ and ‘Tu Koi Aur He ‘ are two brilliantly composed soulful tracks, which will make you, ponder, make you wonder, and give you that much needed reality check. The lesson I carried back home from the cinema was that whether its few hours.. few days or few weeks.. its not always the time.. but the connect.. the unsaid unexpressed words and emotions that sometimes give you a purpose of being and a whole new meaning to your very existence. And I believe we all need to be that other person to someone else…a living….breathing....screaming invitation to believe in better things!!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK7riqg2mr4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0lql0pSSwQ

“Some things don't last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down on the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there.”

― Sarah Dessen

Dying to be me….!!!!!

Title of the post owes its origin to the much acclaimed book by Anita Moorjani, one amazingly spectacular soul who has inspired me beyond words in the recent times... Her awe inspiring autobiographical book is by all means a source of self-enrichment, which will make you look at life in a whole new light!       

          

A year back… in the month of July…. I lost my grand dad to Alzheimer’s and old age. His passing away…left a void in our lives…a wound that is so deep and sore which time I feel has failed to heal. “You will get over it”- true that it’s always the clichés that cause the trouble.  For I believe the truth is, we never get over the ones we love. The void always remains for it is in the shape of the person you love; you would never want anyone else to fit into that space. When we lose someone, for whatever reasons; in the end reasons simply don’t count. Reasons and results- we end up living with the results.

Even before, in this space, I have spoken about losing people… to the inevitable…losing them to reality.. losing ourselves in the process of trying to keep others as a whole! But one amazing thing life has taught me is that we don’t really lose the ones we love. They live in us and we carry a part of them with us for the rest of our lives. Remember receiving this wonderful message from my soul sister whom I absolutely adore which read “One day, whether you are 14,28 or 65, you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find is that, they are not always with whom we spend our lives.” Can’t be truer!

And yes if you ask me.. yes, I do believe in destiny. Not just the kind we stumble upon in the monotony of a quiet life… but that destiny we sometimes have to create for ourselves. And I also believe that sometimes its good ‘not to let go’ because once destiny guides you to the one you need, its up to you to hold on amidst all odds. True that sometimes the wrong decisions or choices we make bring us to the right places and right people. Life, for me, is the most magnificent experience with regard to taking you totally by surprise every now and then.

It shows you happiness… freedom…love…laughter and all the wonderful emotions and before you know it, in the blink of an eye, takes it all away, leaves you devoid of them making you value and cherish all the goodness and positivity whenever you get your hands on it through your journey. It has always amazed me to know how each one of us finds that one person amongst a billion others, that one person who touches your soul and changes your life forever.

That one person who would make you feel stronger and weaker at the same time….both excited and terrified.. it just seems like you have reached the unreachable and you are ready for it. Once your life is touched by them….you completely forget how you spent all the years before they came along. For it is in their love,  you know from the very first day that the end of it is coming, still you want to hold on for a little longer so that it can hurt a little more.  It is a whole new world.. a whole new you.. and a whole new purpose of being!

Its for the second time am mentioning the same song in ‘serenity’ for a new post…could not find a more apt track for all the emotions making me hostile while am drafting it… ‘Aaj jaane ki zid na karo’ is an amazingly soulful melody which will give voice to the words that never got a chance to be spoken… that love which never was given a chance to grow.. but chose to stay.. even when people walked away…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnAVroHAwHE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-ju-nuG2oo

This also is the longest post I ever scribbled… cherishing all the the ‘first ever’ moments life abundantly blessed me with in the recent times.  When you have your moment of ‘serendipity’…. that moment when you accidentally stumble up on something or someone truly amazing… hold them close….tell them you love them….never let go…even if its few moments….days or weeks you have with them…. live it in its essence….give it all you have got....because at least in the end you will be happy you tried and you gave it your best….for this very moment is all we have got… live it to the fullest….never regret!

“Because maybe, in a way, we didn't leave it behind nearly as much as we might once have thought. Because somewhere underneath, a part of us stayed like that: fearful of the world around us, and no matter how much we despised ourselves for it--unable quite to let each other go.”

PS: This post goes out for my sunshine for rekindling my belief in love and all the better things, for reminding me of who I was, before the world told me who I should be! You are happiness every square inch and you are living in me!

“Let me not die..while am still alive..!!!!!”

Title inspired from the Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg’s much appreciated piece of write up she posted in memory of her late husband inspired me beyond words. Been reading a lot of similar posts since then and got glued onto this one abstract from ‘Brida’ by Paulo Coelho which speaks about soul mates.  

“That you will never be mine, and that is why I will never lose you..” this one line made me ponder.. dwell deep into the unknown depths of many such encounters life has been surprising me with. For some relationships are such.. some people too. They happen to us when we least expect it…or when we are least prepared .. and that’s when right in the monotony of a quiet life.. you realize, you still have a dream!

Life, many a time totally takes you by surprise.. makes you experience all those emotions you have once forgotten of left behind. I too believe, like Sheryl Sandberg says when tragedy occurs, it presents us with a choice. Where we can either give into the void and the engulfing emptiness or choose to find a whole new meaning and purpose for being. Always choose the latter!

People come into your life..to inspire you or drain you.. and when you realize you are done being the lake everyone is draining.. that’s when you give way to the right ones to walk in and stay…the ones who will fill in the empty space in your soul by just being there.. the ones who hold back their words to make room for your unsaid..unheard words. The ones who make you realize being hopeful does not always mean everything is going to be ok, but accepting the things which are not right and choosing to do something about it. Always let such people in.. for they are your certainty during your moments of doubt and faith during the moments of anxiety and they teach you to live full of faith when life drains you dry. Let go off the rest and make space for the most precious surprises at the most unexpected corners of life. True that sometimes we find solace in the most unlikeliest places and people. 

One song that came to mind was ‘Abhi mujh me kahin’ from the remake of the evergreen classic ‘Agneepath’. This one version of the song by the music band ‘Thaikkudam Bridge’ is my personal favorite because of its uniqueness and the soul it carries. The song speaks many such emotions that we all live with and live for!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdgnHjAp3a0

Cant agree more to the one who said a soul mate is that someone who makes you a better person. No, actually they don't make you a better person, you do it yourself because they inspire you. You would want to carry that person with you for ever for knowing you, accepting you and believing in you before anyone else did or no one else would ever. So when you find them, keep them for they are all what you really need! Life indeed is really short...but that itself is good enough if we live it the way it is supposed to be lived...! Lets 'wake up' and be fully alive to life...

“Then you came, and I understood all of this. You came to free me from the slavery I myself had created, to tell me that I was free to return to the world and to the things of the world. I understood everything I needed to know and I will always remember now that love is liberty. That was the lesson it took me so many years to learn. That is the lesson that sent me into exile and now sets me free again. I will always remember you, and you will remember me, just as we will remember the evening, the rain on the windows, and all the things we’ll always have because we cannot possess them.”

PS: This post goes out for the most precious and priceless encounter ever,  for making me fall in love with life yet again!

Life…death…dreams…love…or the lack of it!!!!!

Title inspired from my favourite author Paulo Coelho’s ‘Adultery’, this post was so unexpected , so sudden and so long pending. I have always hated waiting... waiting for the right time…waiting for the right things …waiting for the right people and so on. We all wait… rather than stepping up and doing something about it...we all tend to wait. “The trouble is we think we have time.” This simple line Sri Buddha said has to be the most sensible thing I have heard in a long while. I haven’t visited this space in ages.. I kept pushing it for another day…always felt I can do it any time I want.. a better day..a better song..a better mood… but today..I decided to just write!

"Life changes fast… life changes in the instant...” Joan Didion’s words are simple yet intense...straight forward yet magically poetic and they can’t be truer. There are things that happen that change your views and perceptions about things and people. True that the most priceless things in this world are not ‘things’.I believe it’s very important to take a break….stop doing things that we do every day…and do something off the routine to surprise and delight ourselves. I have been staying away from the usual for some time now, and I spent this time catching up on some amazing movies I have missed watching in time. It was in fact  a catching up with myself  too… and two of them in particular did that rare thing of touching my soul.

‘Highway’ that gave a break to the actor in Alia Bhatt and the Malayalam movie ‘Varsham’ which made me believe once again in the treasure of a talent Sree Mammotty is. When highway talks about the unusual serene bond between Veera and Mahabir and how one journey turns out to be life changing for Veera, ‘Varsham’ portrays the relationship between a couple and their son and how they turn the biggest tragedy of their life into a tale of hope and life to many.

Life by all means looks like a story when we look behind. We deal with the most unexpected situations and people and they change the way we perceive life itself. Our losses, whatever they are…leave us deserted and shattered. When Veera had to face the agony of an abused childhood bringing her up and how she turns out Mahabir’s absence from life into something unbelievably fulfilling, Venugopal of ‘Varsham’ struggles to cop up with the sudden demise of his only son. It amazed me to see how beautifully these characters managed to rise from the ashes for a purpose much greater and much worthwhile.

We lose people to the inevitable… we lose them to reality…sometimes we just lose the person we believed someone was… the truth is …we simply lose! Reality is that thing which doesn't go away, when we stop believing in it. It is up to us how we want to deal with the loss. True that in the space between a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, there is a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and the one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are. Our time is really limited. Let’s not waste it living someone else’s life. This is our one chance to be us. Let’s not be trapped by the dogma, which is living with the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the voice of other people’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. So very true! Let’s wake up and be fully alive to life!

Here’s sharing two soulful tracks that convey the depth and intensity of the bond between the people in those two brilliant movies.‘Sooha Saha’ from Highway and ‘Kari mukilukal’ from Varsham. Let the songs speak for themselves!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzUmTp6apx8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFdWJiXy2CM

"If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps you moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream."

PS: This post goes out for the ones who have always chosen to 'stay' despite all the odds.. all the flaws.. all the distance .